Being a fig tree

I've never heard of the parable in Luke 13:6-9 until a few days ago. For those of you that don't know it– here it is:

A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it but did not find any. 7 So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’

8 “‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. 9 If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’”

And it stops there. We never find out if the fig tree bore fruit or not.

That's kind of the state where I am currently.

I grew up learning Bible stories, and I think I was more convinced of everything taught than most kids in my class. I loved the atmosphere, the escape from hardships. But it wasn't until a few years back that I realized– I really didn't have a good relationship with God as I had thought, or as others had thought.

I know that most people could give me a "pass" for what I deem my weaknesses, but that doesn't help me feel better. I feel empty, unmotivated, barren because I'm not right with God. I know it's ok to feel that at times but this is different. There's a hole inside of me that I can't shake off. Even when I try to come up with other solutions or reasons for it, it might go away for a bit but it comes back.
And right now my only solution is to go back to the beginning. I'll let that man (Jesus) take care of me and help me bear fruit. And I have to do my part too. I have to fight with myself (which by the way is WAY more challenging than fighting another person) to follow God and do what I know will elevate my soul.

In other words, I have to be born again. Be Christian again. Remind myself why I decided to dedicate myself to Him.

PS. My theory of why many pastor kids leave the church is for this very reason. You think you have it all and know it all, but having a relationship with God and bearing fruit is a critical component of faith. What do you think?